MOVE OVER NIGERIAN MEN THIS IS WHY KENYAN WOMEN LOVE SOMALI GUYS

By Cheptoek Boyo | July 23, 2020

A woman I know has been scheming with clenched teeth and buttocks to see if she can be smashed by a Somali man in the neighborhood.

She tells me she wears heels anytime she goes out hunting down this Somali dude because heels have a tendency of slowing a woman down, giving a man ‘in this case the Somali man’ more time to look at her frame.

Somali’s are the in thing in Nairobi; every woman wants to date Mohammed, Abdul, Ali or that skinny Abdi kid because his dad has an oil well in Eastleigh.

Nigeria is no longer producing enough ‘oil’ for Kenya girls – which is why local women are shifting their beautiful focus to Somali sons. It’s understandable why Kenyan women are giving Nigerian men a wide birth; and that’s because one cannot count in one hand alone the number of Kenyan women who have had toe-curling experiences in the hands of some Nigerians.

Most Nigerians come to Kenya, and devote their lives seducing local women; and take pride in their ability to seduce women of all stations and ages, on your bill. That’s annoying. These dudes are loud, lazy, broke.

Nigerian Night and other related concerts are no longer attractive to Kenyan women. The women have learned that some of these West African fashion meatheads who dress like musicians are out to elevate a woman on matters of love, yet always scheming to catch and subdue her for the period he is in the country.

Often, they have a wife back in Lagos, who probably has given birth so many times her dress gets caught in the groove of her buttocks as she walks. Of course, she has no idea Atieno, Njeri or Chebet even exists somewhere in the heart of Nairobi; and that she spends her money keeping her husband entertained, and well-oiled that he is already developing a pot belly.

A Nigerian man will smash you, plant his seeds deep inside of you and then take a walk back to Lagos; leaving you to raise that child alone, like some kind of foreign investment.

Should you decide to accompany him to Nigeria, that’s when you will come face to face with traditions that you had no idea even existed; remember some of these things you used to watch on Afro-Cinema? like eating kola nut just before sex – which will annoy your lipstick. I am kidding.

Of course, not all Nigerians are Nigerians. I know quite a number who are pretty straight forward.

But meanwhile, Somali’s are having a ball; taking over all the beautiful women from Nigerians, they don’t know whether to eat them up or wear them.

It helps that with little modernization, and quid, Somalis are moving from dusty villages to the city, and are willing to date women from other tribes.

So why Somali men? They say Somali guys are generous; that the moment you date them, they assume all responsibilities of a husband, pay your rent, buy you a decent ride and give you monthly allowance to make sure you smell good. Did I mention that Nigerians love to trek here in Nairobi? Well, now I do.

Somalis are rumored to be as romantic as a house brick and won’t think to whisk you off on a naughty weekend, and Somali’s have very good oral skills.

Unlike Nigerians who will sit in the house counting years, and wondering about when the next Big Brother thing will go down from morning to evening, Somalis will set their women up for business, say as mobile money transfer agent; pushing serious volumes.

And while at it, it is at your discretion to choose to pump up some weight; Somali’s don’t mind big-bellied women.

Of course, dating a Somali does not mean he will marry you. Three things are likely to happen; his parent will get him a hot Somali girl from the village to marry as the first wife, which opens the gates for your arrival as the second wife. If you are a Christian, no sweat, Somali’s are allowed to marry a Christian as the second wife.

The second option would require that you convert to Islam before being married under Islamic or customary law.

Third option, which is what most Kenyan chicks love; is where you become his dedicated side chick, and all your needs are good. The lad can marry all the girls, provided he still pays your rent.

 I know many chicks who are either pregnant, or are planning to get pregnant for a Somali guy because such comes with a basket of goodies, and Somali’s unlike Nigerians, are in Kenya to stay.