’IT TAKES EVERYTHING FOR ME TO GET OUT OF BED’ ISAAC MWAURA’S WIFE NELIUS TALKS LIVING WITH DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND ADHD

Politician Isaac Mwaura’s wife and writer Nelius Mukami has opened up on her battle with depression noting that it gives her a hard time dealing with it. In a social media post, she said it takes a lot of effort to try and avoid it, also disclosing how it keeps her low all through the day. 

“My Name is Nelius Mukami and depression is the most expensive thing I own! Living with depression, anxiety and ADHD is one of the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. It has taken a lot from me and it continues taking. It takes so much effort just to avoid it and it still finds me even in my happiest of days and in my solitude. Somedays even finding the strength to wake up in the morning and be functional is difficult but nobody understands that it takes everything in me just to drag myself out of bed,” she wrote in part.  

Mukami said that battling depression has messed up her experiences, memories and her relationship with people. “Depression continues to rob me of experiences, memories and people. I try not to allow it not to overcome me but it still finds a way in . Coupled with Pain and Trauma. Depression continues to be the most expensive thing I own. I find myself feeling broken and unworthy. I have lost so many parts of myself. Sometimes I stare in the mirror and I cannot recognise  who I am anymore,” she said. 

The writer also detailed how depression has affected her social life, disclosing that she finds it hard to share her videos or even photos out to the public. “I have big dreams and big plans and great ambition but I am always hesitant to publish an article, post a YouTube video or even a simple photo. My Anxiety always manages to convince me that the work is not good enough and that I am not Good Enough. It tells me that people will see me as a fraud and realise I am not as good as I think. I do not feel worthy of the compliments and the achievements,” said posted.

 “It has taken me a lot of strength and courage just to write and share this post.  My Mental Health  journey  has been a huge rollercoaster and very hard to explain  because not many will understand. People think it’s a state of mind that you can just shake off with enough motivation but it is not, at least not for me.” She added 

Mukami admitted that she is hooked on grieving the person she was in the past, however, noting that she is slowly walking out of depression. “Everyday that I live I am grateful, everyday that I get out of bed and take a shower even leave the house is a great win for me. I know deep down that I am not broken and I am worthy .I know there is still so much for me to conquer.  I have spent so much time grieving the person I was and forgotten to be grateful for the woman I am becoming.  I am a work in progress,” she said.