‘LOUIS OTIENO WAS A TRASH OF A FATHER WHO DIDN’T CARE IF I LIVED OR DIED’ SAYS SON SILAS MIAMI

Louis Otieno’s son Silas Miami has opened up about some incredibly tough memories of his dad. The filmmaker said he had to go through therapy to heal his childhood trauma, “I know he is genetically my father but I don’t know this man. In fact, for years, only a handful of people knew he was my biological father. Lois made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. I struggled with it, it hurt in unthinkable ways. Thankfully, trauma, therapy and years of unlearning ’survival mode’ have gotten me to the place  of acceptance and healing. Here is my final statement on this. Louis Otieno is many things to many people. I understand that. To me? Louis was a trash  of a father who didn’t care if I lived or died. I was a child on the virtue of that alone, I deserved better.”

Silas said his dad was physically and emotionally abusive, “He did everything in his power to punish my mother and me by proxy for needing help. This was all happening at the height of his success, polishing the tire of his cars with kiwi, shopping the political opinions of a fractured nation because he ‘sounded smart’ and  wrecking homes by physically and emotionally abusing women. He’s made his mission to break, belittle and embarrass my mother. But, home girl can tell her version of the events, she’s violently chaotic in her unique ways too. Still none of her actions warranted the pain and humiliation that both of us suffered, pain that this man continuously and gleefully contributed to.”

He also revealed he first met his father at 22, “I was not hyperbolic when I said I’d only met Louis 3 times in my entire life. And while some might hear the number ‘3’ and think that’s plenty for any present father. It should be noted that the first time we met, I was 22. We almost met three times, however. Once near Post when I was 4, he almost got hit by KBS running into oncoming traffic, there was a time he narrowly escaped a conversation by using a service elevator at I&M to leave when he got tipped about our arrival. But my favourite missed-connection has got to be the time we waited for him at Kennels for 5hrs. It was his invitation, was I maybe 9?”

Silas went to visit him in hospital at the request of his mother, “I’m not trying to embarrass him, there are simply the memories I have for him. These are a direct consequence of his actions. I’m barely stating them. If solid actions appear cruel and embarrassing, well, I trust you to do the rest of the maths on that one. I grew accustomed to this man’s absence. I grew resentful, I promised myself to suffer through everything, whatever I needed to do to prove that I was worthy of his love. Because to a child, their missing father is their fault. Especially when he has no problem showing for an entire nation every evening.

So, I worked like mad. I became fu&*ing good at what I do. But then, at 22, while in my first year of film school, I got all from my estranged mother asking me to visit my estranged father in a hospital because he was dying. I jumped on a flight to Nairobi the next day. I get to his bed, he spends the first two minutes denying that I am his son. Until he quickly deduces that he could potentially earn money from me. It was at that moment that it finally dawned on me, I had wasted so much  emotional labour on someone who wasn’t willing to acknowledge my humanity.”