VANESSA MDEE: MY STRUGGLE WITH ALCOHOL

Tanzanian singer and songwriter, Vanessa Mdee has opened up about the difficulties of being an artiste in a secular world.

On her podcast titled One on One with Vanessa Mdee, she talks about family, love, music and battling with alcoholism.

Mdee who relocated to Atlanta, USA and is now living with her boyfriend the Power actor Olurotimi Akinosho alias Rotimi. She says though she loves music don’t expect to see her in music industry related events, “I have no desire to do anything that is music industry related, I have no desire to go to another award show, to keep up a facade, I have no desire to be a pseudo person which I truly became and I could not recognize myself anymore.

I had the prefect coating but inside I was dying. I became a robot and I have no desire to be a robot or be unhappy anymore, because that’s what I was, unhappy. I had moments of we are enjoying this, I had moments of this is fun, I had moments of this is a beautiful day.

More than ever I had moments of anxiety and moments of depression, I had moments of I don’t know what to do next because this pressure is unnatural for a human being. And what comes after that, this may come as a shock to many because I hid it so well but I was depressed and an alcoholic.”

Vanessa confesses for the better part of 2019 she drank herself to sleep and lied to the people around her to cover up, “I became a person of horrible choices. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore because I woke up every day trying to just get by and I don’t want to just get by anymore, I refuse to do it. I don’t want to seem like I complaining about the blessing in my life because I do not. I am well aware I am highly favoured and truly blessed.

But this is my truth and me letting you into this space because, I don’t want to live a candy-coated life anymore. I will not do it and the beauty and the blessing in this story is that I could have a different ending but my ending or my beginning is in love. Love saved my life, Love made me whole, God saved my life, God is love.

God brought me an earth angel who said things that I could not have heard from anyone else but my earth angel. You need to understand that throughout the year 2019, I drank myself to sleep every night. I am not proud it but it is my truth and I know there are people who need to hear this. I was lying to people around me to cover up and to keep the facade alive.

If I did not choose my life and soul, I don’t know if I would be here in a few years to come, so God save my life.”